I woke up this morning and told my husband to take a long look at me. I woke up 5 lbs. lighter today than yesterday. I've just completed the worst 18 hours in my ENTIRE life. And, I've had some experiences in my lifetime that one might say, yeah, that's bad. i.e. basic training, waking up at 4 am for 8 weeks, going through the gas chamber, butt love on my wedding night~ just kidding, (that was for you Tony), the first 6 months of my sons life~ waking up 3 x's a night, childbirth... all bad, but no comparison to enduring the 18 hours of hell I just experienced.
See, I got that tube stuck up my bummy. That was the easy part though. I drank 20 ounces of citrate magnesium, (which apparently is a lot easier that the gallon of shit others have had to drink~ask Special K) and 8 dolcolax laxatives to empty my intestines completely. The pooping part wasn't so bad, it was the nausea. I just can't deal with the nausea. I did end up throwing up 2ce and began to worry I wouldn't be able to complete the dirty deed.
I tracked my day, just for those curious:
No coffee in the am...yikes. I miss my caffiene and of course have only decaf soda. Immediately, I have a slight headache. I opt for a little retail therapy.
1:00 First 10 oz. drink of Citrate Magnesium and 4 laxatives (it went down relatively easy, no problems, I gulped it down with a straw) Called Mom and sister, bragging, this isn't so bad!
2:30 First visit to the potty
2:45 Second visit
3:30 Third~ Feeling a little nauseous now... not quite so perky
4:00 Fourth visit
4:15 Fifth visit, ended up w/my mouth sweating.. started to think I might throw up
5:00 Oh shit! I gotta drink the second 10 oz. drink and take more laxatives...
5:15 Throw up... no one is home to hold my hair back, first time in my life my hair is long enough to need someone to hold my hair, where's my husband?
Massive head ache ensues.... I'm dehydrated, no longer caring about food. I think I'm dying.
5:00pm-11:pm slowly drink my drink along with water and Ginger ale. Potty breaks regularly.
3:15 am Throw up again, no one awake to hold my hair, Mr. Coolmomma snoring when I return to bed~Bastard!
7am Get up, my mouth tastes like someone pooped in it~quickly brush my teeth letting a tiny bit of water slide down my throat. Not supposed to have any liquids. I'm not hungry at all, just ready to do this!
12:30 pm Mission accomplished, very little to say except I'm glad it's over. I have recorded a toot of mine to play for my girlfriend, Ali, who thinks toots are as funny as me. Keep contemplating leaving one on her answering machine at work.
One bit of advice I do have. Never take a toot for granted~if ya know what I mean!
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15 comments:
Gosh, I can't wait to try this! I was sick in Jan. '07 and vomitted more than I thought was humanly possible, so I feel for ya!
The word you are looking for is "Shart".
Wow. Not looking forward to this thing at all now that you've deterred the entire bloggosphere from getting a colonoscopy. That blows that the pre-ritual was so brutal for you. Imagine how you'd have felt if you hadn't had your non-throwing up streak ruined a few years back.
I know, I guess I'm lucky I drank those 9 beers and only I know what else my Freshman year at Cortland and broke my streak! I'd a been in a heap of trouble. It's just not fun... 'it's not fun...it isn't funny'. (anyone know who's quote that is?)
I would never be able to drink that stuff...I'm such a huge vagina.
GB-Hi! Well, I didn't think I'd ever have the balls to do it either, but when colon cancer creeped into my family, I knew I had to go through with it. Now Tony and Mathdude are up for a little visit. They are HUGE VAGINAS!
What?!? I may be a dick, I may be a prick, but I must protest being called a vagina!
BTW, if you want to self-promote, aka comment on other blogs, ginormousboobs has way more readers to her blog/comments than any I've seen. She seems especially popular with males. Go figure!
I receive more dirty photos from the ladies than I do the guys...go figure :)
OK Mathdude, you are what I'll call a half vag!
I don't have many friends who blog-but I've sent many to ginormousboobs blog spot. I figure it might inspire them to join in on the fun!
GB: Oh yeah? Let's see'em:-)
GB: I predict a world record number of comments if your next posting is those pics!
Congrats Mishy on cracking double digit number of comments!
I swore by the blogger oath not to post pics sent to me...and I must uphold!
The next one will be even better, trust me. I think you approached it the right way, just gulp the shit down. I pinch my nose first then camp out on the commode for hours (maybe that gal who had to have the toilet seat pried from her ass after two months was actually just prepping for the scope?). Did they snip any polyps while they were violating you? If not, they could have just used the pill cam and saved you a lot of hassle.
I didn't lose 5 pounds and I don't have ginormous boobs, but I didn't throw up. It's a nice trade off, doncha think?
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